I felt that this would be an appropriate time to give an update on my condition. Going into the New Year, my body seemed to be real receptive of the treatment I was taking daily. There were no real set backs just a little aches and pains from time to time. That all changed in a matter of weeks. In January, we received not so-good news. New legions in my body were growing, as the cancer seemed to find away around the medication I was taking. So, basically I was back at square one. And it felt like it. The pains in my back and chest area were becoming more frequent. My energy level was way down. My appetite worsened as I continued to lose weight alarmingly. It was the worst. My body felt as if I was going days without treatment or effective medicine. This was something that we knew from the beginning as a possibility. Eventually, we would have to switch me onto a better medication than the one I was taking.
Fast forward to my current situation. I’m coming off a week of radiation treatment on my chest, neck, and back areas and my body seems to be responding well to it. Also, I started my new chemo medication this week. Since taking it, my body feels a lot better and I’m not feeling the aches and pains in my body so much. Also, on the plus side, my appetite has returned with a vengeance. I seriously can not stop eating currently and I’m hoping this will improve my body weight situation.
I just want to say thank you to everyone who has kept me in your prayers. This road that I’m on is not an easy one but it helps that I have the support of my family and friends. My mind has been all over the place thinking about what to say one year after one of the worst days of my life. I’m just thankful that I’m still here and I’m currently feeling the best I’ve felt in a long time. This should serve as a reminder for me to continue to thank God for being with me during the rough times and the good times.
Now, this might be taken completely out of context because I wrote it like a week ago but I just didn’t want to delete it. But here is my “rough draft” I guess. Smh. Lol
Feb. 6, 2020
If you know me, you know I like to watch weird cartoons on the Internet. I don’t know why but I’m just into strange, non-sense, surreal, and silly humor. Anyways, there’s a quote from one of those cartoons that has kind of stuck with me recently, regarding my cancer situation. So, here’s a quick premise: a son and his father goes up into the country to visit his grandfather. The grandfather is old and bitter and during the visit, he berates his son and grandson with insults. The line that has stuck with me recently is when he said, “You’re not ready for when life attacks!” Who is ready for when life “attacks”? Is anybody?
When I first received the cancer diagnosis about a year ago, it didn’t feel like life was “attacking” me. I felt that kind of thinking would have been too negative and I had no time for that. My focus was on what I needed to do to get back to my normal life. A year later, I can tell you that I had those thoughts while I was fighting this disease. You think this like “why is this happening to me?”, “What could I have done in the past to prevent this?”, or “why did I have to walk away from prior situations”. Reflecting on the past is something that I’ve found easy to fall into but I think I’m starting to realize that it’s a waste of time. The time to reflect is over. It is time for me to look forward and give thanks to what I have in front me.
What do you do when life attacks? You look at what God has blessed you with already. There have been a few moments in the past year where I feel like God was really showing himself to me. I remember all of the people, some who I did not know, who showed up to our house to help us move in. I remember the kindness of my friends who donated at the Spaghetti Dinner and on the Gofundme site. I remember the bad days too. The radiation treatments. Laying in bed in tremendous pain, crying out to God. The set backs. The Falls. But everything has brought me back to here.