Tag Archives: Parody

NFL Playoffs: Super Bowl LII Prediction!

2015 BET Awards - Show

“Ms. Jackson…….if you’re nasty…….”

By: Elias McMillan

 

Conference Championship Sunday: 1-1

Playoffs: 4-6

Super Bowl 52 from U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota

Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots

Janet Jackson was the youngest star out of the famed and talented Jackson family. After her first two solo albums which were produced under the watchful eye of her father and manager, Joe Jackson, Janet was looking forward to setting out on her own.

On her third solo album, Janet teamed with producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis to create “Control”. The crossover pop album found big success with singles “Nasty” and “What Have You Done for Me Lately”. The album went on to be highly acclaimed and nominated for multiple honors but Janet was merely scratching the surface.

In 1989, Janet released her fourth album “Rhythm Nation 1814”. The album included one of the most iconic music videos for the title track “Rhythm Nation” and radio hits “Miss You Much” and “Escapade”. The 1990 Rhythm Nation World Tour, which sold out in record times, established Janet’s status as the “Queen of Pop” for the new decade.

Janet returned to the studio four years later with her self-titled album “Janet”. Lead single “That’s the Way Love Goes” went on the win a Grammy. The album also included massive hits “Anytime, Anyplace” and “Again”, which was written for the film that Janet starred in “Poetic Justice” and was also nominated for an Oscar.

Janet’s next album “The Velvet Room” signaled a change of direction for her career. The album addressed social issues while veering away from the pop genre and included more hip-hop and funk influences. Despite some criticism, the album went triple platinum with hits “Got ‘til It’s Gone” featuring Q-Tip, “I Get Lonely”, and “Together Again”.

As the new millennium approached, Janet prepared for another run to the top of the charts in music while fitting in movie appearances. After collaborating with reggae star Shaggy and rapper Busta Rhymes for a couple hits, Janet was set to appear in the Nutty Professor sequel. The film became her second to open at the box office at number one along with 93’s Poetic Justice. The main single from the film, “Doesn’t Really Matter”, became her 9th number 1 hit on the billboard charts.

Before the release of her next album, “All for You” in 2001, Janet was set to be honored by MTV as a “Icon”. “All for You” went on be a massive success as the exposure from MTV opened the door for her to dominate radio stations and collaborate with younger artists. “Someone to Call My Lover” and “Son of a Gun” featuring Missy Elliott received heavy radio play. So did collaborations with Beenie Man and producer super group, “The Neptunes”, for “Feel It Boy”.

Janet was in the middle of another impressive run when MTV choose her to perform at the halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII with Nelly, P. Diddy, Kid Rock, and Justin Timberlake. What followed ended up becoming infamous. The “wardrobe malfunction” pretty much invented Youtube. Debate rages on to this day about who was at fault in the incident. Was it a planned publicity stunt? Did Janet know what was going to happen? Did Timberlake botch the “pull away”? No matter what you believe, the affects from the aftermath of the incident clearly hampered a career.

Janet was blacklisted from the Grammys that year. Her songs and videos were pulled off stations across the nation. Janet issued an apology and so did Timberlake. It was Timberlake who pulled off the clothing in the incident, but he received no such backlash.

Janet released three more albums since then, but none reached the heights of her previous releases. No one can remain the “Queen of Pop” forever, I guess. But Janet’s stardom had more legs underneath it before the Super Bowl controversy and we never got to see its fruition. With over 100 million records sold, a crazy amount of hits, and some stints on the silver screen, Janet’s impact on pop culture is undeniable. Her success greatly outweighs any past controversy, as she is one of the greatest pop artists of all time.

She just wrapped up her eighth national tour.

Prediction: Patriots 33 – Eagles 27

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Super Bowl XLIX Prediction!

USP NFL: SUPER BOWL XLIX-HALFTIME SHOW PRESS CONFE S FBN ENT USA AZ

Katy Perry will easily be the fan favorite nation wide on Sunday.

By: Elias McMillan

Conference Championships: 1-1

Playoffs: 7-3

Super Bowl XLIX from University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona

New England Patriots vs. Seattle Seahawks

Katy Perry rose up to the top of the pop music scene in 2008 with her first single “I Kissed a Girl”. That would be just the beginning of a career that would see Perry become one of the biggest, most selling pop artists in the last 7 years. Oh. Did you think I would be breaking down the matchups between the Patriots and the Seahawks? Naw. Sorry. Ok. Maybe later. But lets be real, who wants to talk about either of these teams in the Super Bowl outside of Boston and Seattle? In terms of national appeal, Katy Perry is probably the more interesting and most popular figure performing on Sunday. So, yeah. Later for all that football talk. Time for some more about Ms. Katy Perry and the halftime show.

Katy Perry has been included in the Forbes list of top-earning women in music for four straight years now. Throughout her career, Perry has sold over 11 million albums and 81 million singles worldwide. That’s impressive but not all that surprising once you run down her long list of hit records. Hot n Cold, Waking Up in Vegas, Teenage Dream, Last Friday Night, California Gurls, Firework, E.T., Part of Me, Roar, Birthday, and Dark Horse. That’s a murders row of hit records that have ripped and rampaged through the Billboard top pop music charts in the last 7-8 years. The only other female artists that can rival her success in that same time period would be Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga. That’s really good company to be in. And now, this Sunday night will be the pinnacle of her career as she will perform in front of a sold out stadium with over 100 million watching worldwide. With Lenny Kravitz by her side, its going to be exciting to see what song she opens with, which of her hit records will be in the set list, and which surprise artists will join her on stage. The rumors surrounding that last point are at an all-time high now with names like Kanye West, Missy Elliott, and Juicy J being mentioned. Two more things to consider going into this historic halftime performance by Katy Perry: will she debut a new song and how many wardrobe changes she will go through during the performance. Oh yeah, there’s also going to be a football game sandwiched around the concert, which is kind of weird but hey.

“Last Friday Night” (Well, almost Friday night really), the Patriots held a press conference to discuss the ongoing controversy that is “Deflate Gate”. I feel that every second spent thinking about “Deflate Gate” by New England has hurt their preparation for this game vs. Seattle. The controversy has been way over blown from the start and is pretty much a non-factor. If people want to seriously discredit the achievements of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady once their careers are over then so be it. Let idiots be idiots. I see the Patriots offense performing well on Sunday. Seattle’s strength is their defense but they aren’t nearly as dominant as they were last season. They are vulnerable against the run and key members of the “Legion of Boom” are fighting injuries going into this game. New England is the type of team that blatantly looks for any advantage to take so I can see them attacking this defense from the start to set the tone. Seattle can still bring pressure up front so protecting Brady will be key for New England. Getting the ball to TE Rob Gronkowski will get the Patriots to light up the scoreboard like “Fireworks”. Defenders trying to tackle Gronk often feel like “Waking Up in Vegas” afterwards. Are these Katy Perry puns doing anything for you? People in the media might not understand Seahawks RB Marshall Lynch and try to paint him as an “E.T.” But Lynch is just simply a football player and he will be key for Seattle’s success on Sunday. New England is short handed at the LB position and they are known for their struggles stopping the run. I can see Russell Wilson and the Seattle rushing attack playing ball control football, keeping Brady on the bench, and hammering this Patriots defense. I don’t like the matchup between Seattle’s receivers and the New England secondary. Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner are two of the league’s best corners. Seattle’s group of receivers are under rated but I’m learning that the term “under rated” really means “not that good”. Doug Baldwin can continue to have these “Teenage Dreams” about being an elite receiver in this league but he is simply not. I think Wilson will be able to get around New England’s pass rush and make some plays outside of the pocket on Sunday. But more importantly, this game will be about Lynch imposing his will in the 4th quarter. Beast Mode will most definitely “Roar” as he will make the difference in this game and earn MVP honors. It will feel like Pete Carroll’s “Birthday” as the confetti and “the big, big balloons” fall upon the field when the clock reaches triple zero. Prediction: Seahawks 31 – Patriots 24